Want to improve your small talk? Read This —

You could hate on small talk all you want.

Maybe it is shallow. Maybe it is a waste of your time. But still..

The fact of the matter is this -

If you aren’t good at small talk, you will struggle to build relationships and get opportunities.

You can hate small talk all you want, but it doesn’t decrease its importance. You see, small talk is the gateway to deeper conversations, to building rapport, and then relationships.

If you want to improve your social skills, this is one thing YOU MUST master.

Now, if you are convinced, here are n ways to absolutely CRUSH small talk -

Enter conversations with high energy levels

And I don’t mean too high. Just a little higher than other people, say one energy level above them. Your energy should reflect in your volume and tone of voice, your facial expressions and your body movements.

You shouldn’t have lower energy levels than others, because a lethargic demeanor is really off-putting, and makes you seem like a boring guy.

No one wants to hang out with a boring guy. I certainly wouldn’t. And neither would you.

On the other hand, if you seem interesting and fun, people would naturally want to talk to you and be in your company, which means less effort on your part.

So the next time you enter a conversation, go in with one energy level higher than others, smile freely, talk a bit loudly, have an expressive face, and good body posture. Do NOT have dead eyes, feeble voice, and a slouch. Shit’s unattractive as hell.

Moving on…

Have a playful demeanor

Rather than a sad one.

Have fun. Laugh freely. Maybe joke around a little bit.

For example?

If someone asks you a question, instead of a direct to the point answer, you could try giving an exaggerated version of it, or just a plain lie too ridiculous to believe (this is crucial, or you’re just a liar)

Don’t hesitate to playfully tease people around you. Throwing light jabs then and now keeps the conversation interesting and fun. Just don’t go too far or make fun of someone’s insecurities (And if someone seems offended, do not tease them again).

Lateral Thinking

This is perhaps the most important component in small talk, or in any casual friendly conversations in that matter.

What I mean by lateral thinking is the ability to connect a topic with another topic not directly related to the conversation. For example?

P1 — I was reading this book by Winston Churchill called “A history of the English speaking people”, and I’ve been enjoying it a lot. Have you heard of it?

P2 — No I haven’t, but that reminds me, Winston Churchill also makes a few appearances in Peaky Blinders. Seems like a solid character, that guy.

You see, here I showed what a smooth transition to another topic (history -> Peaky Blinders) looks like. This is called lateral thinking.

I have emboldened “that reminds me” because that makes it very easy to shift to other topics.

Let me give you another example -

P1 — We are going to shift to our new home this week. I’m so excited!

P2 — Oh, I didn’t know. Good for you! Where is it?

P1 — It’s in sector xyz, near the mall.

P2 — Oh, that reminds me, they’ve opened a new gaming center at the mall just last week. Shall we go there sometime?

See? Too easy.

Now, you can use it to shift to any number of topics, depending on what you can think of at the moment.

But a prerequisite for lateral thinking is active listening. If you aren’t actively listening to the other person, you might miss your chances to shift the conversation to more interesting topics. So listen, if only to switch the subject. Though chances are that if you actually listen, you will generally find people interesting.