Some people are just so repulsive, aren’t they?

29th March, 2023

2:20 PM

Dear reader,

I just had my lunch and was resting on my bed, when my mind suddenly decided to remind me of an old “friend”. He was a pure social skills masterclass in himself, in that he taught me a lot about the kind of person I didn’t want to be.

Before we get into it, a little context would be good.

Just after my class 10 exams, I started watching Naruto. The great anime it is, it taught me a lot about people, feelings, moral values and more. Since those were my formative years, it could be said that in some part, Naruto raised me.

The anime follows the story of Naruto, a little boy of age 12, who is for some (understandable) reason, shunned by his village. He has got no friends, and from his peers to unknown villagers, everybody treats him like trash…and he’s lonely. As lonely as a person can get.

I heavily sympathized with him, and I really liked the very few characters that actually treated him like a human. I decided that this is the kind of person I want to be, one who brings light into other people’s lives (How much I’ve succeeded in it, I wouldn’t know. I’d like to think I have, to some degree at least, but you’d have to talk to my friends about it).

Sounds like a good philosophy? I thought so. Until….

I met Nitesh (made up name) in class 11. I forget how, exactly. We went to the same coaching and school, so perhaps one of these two places. My home was on his way, so we generally went back together, from school and coaching.

At the outset, he seemed like a nice guy, apart from a running mouth, but these things are easily excused when someone’s nature seems good. We usually discussed our school subjects and other events, and I found his opinions interesting, generally. Eventually we started to hangout more frequently at school, and it was fun…at the start. But things changed.

Soon, I started to notice that people tried to keep a sort of distance from him. His old classmates seemed to avoid him, and pity me for being around him. I couldn’t understand why. Of course he isn’t perfect, but then, who is? I just assumed that it was mean kids being mean, so I didn’t think much of it. Some of his old friends even warned me to keep my distance, but I disregarded their warnings. I didn’t dislike him in the first place, but now that I saw he was shunned by others, my protective instincts (for the lack of a better word) came into action and we only got closer.

We generally had lunch together i.e. he ate from my lunchbox. I didn’t mind, we’ve been taught to share since childhood (But sharing isn’t in your interest when you have the best stuff, so that is when the seeds of capitalism were sown in my mind 😛) and occasionally when I bought my lunch he’d take a part of that too, which again I let him, until one day, I spotted him buying some lunch at the canteen. In his own manner, I went up to him and took a little share. But apparently, he isn’t cool with someone else doing this.

He became enraged, his eyes grew almost red with anger, and he threw the remaining (which was a lot actually) at my white shirt. I ducked out of reflex, so the damage was negligible, but it left me really confused. Is this how a friend is supposed to act? There were a lot of people around, they were shaken as well. And Nitesh simply walked away in anger. I didn’t talk to him that day.

Next day, he approached me and apologized profusely for his behaviour. I figured he might have had something on his mind, and with some difficulty, I let it go. There was peace again, but I started to notice his more annoying behaviours more clearly. I saw that he wasn’t very kind to the people around him, and that his personal hygiene wasn’t upto the mark either. His laugh was a little too loud, and the language a little too rough. But, excusable, I thought. He isn’t perfect, but who is?

But as he just grew more annoying by the day, I started hanging out with him less, and eventually stopped it altogether, except for the occasional greetings. I had other friends, so I didn’t mind it as much, but he took it way harder than I expected.

He started to lash out at me in the class, even shouting profanities. He would fight with anyone and everyone, and somehow always managed to drag me into them. One particular time, he somehow managed to piss off all the girls in the class and had an hour-long fight with them. I wasn’t a part of it in any way, yet every 10 minutes he would hit me with some cheap slander, like a crazy person. You see, he fought with them, but he hated me. Why? I couldn’t tell. For abandoning him? Perhaps, but did I really deserve such treatment when I’d been there for him when no one was, and only treated him with kindness? I don’t think so. I felt like he managed to fool me early on, but really showed his true colours as time went by.

But still, lesson learnt — Stay away from socially outcasted repulsive loners. There’s a reason, and often a good one, for their situation.

In my very short life on this planet, I’ve encountered a few people like this. They’ve got no friends, nobody wants to associate with them, and when they finally make a friend (likely because someone took pity on them) they reward them with the most ungenerous behaviour and push them away.

I still had some pity for him. Life’s hard as it is, but it’s much harder without friends. Really, it’s awful to be outcasted like he was, even if just due to his own nature.

Among people of similar circumstances I have encountered, there are some noticeably faulty traits they share. I’d like to list them down, so you can minimize them in your own persona if you do have them, but that’s for the next letter. This letter’s long enough already.

Be well.

Ayush