What You Don’t Get About Girls
Don’t read this if you’re a snowflake.
*Disclaimer: The following article is based on just my experiences and opinions. There is no way I, or anyone, could claim to explain perfectly the behaviour of a whole gender. There’s too much variation. But, as Napoleon said — all law should do is impose a general guideline, and the interpretations in specific cases are to be made by the judges. Similarly, this article too is just a general guideline, and the advice given is not, and cannot, be appropriate in every scenario for every human being.*
You can’t talk to boys and girls the same way.
Because they differ in their interests.
While boys tend to be more philosophical in their conversations,
Girls are more interested in actual events in their surroundings.
This came to me when I was watching a family guy reel on instagram. It went like this -
Peter, Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland are in a car, Peter is driving.
Peter: Would you rather be a hobo (a homeless person) with a 5% chance of getting inherited by a rich guy or be Hitler two years before the end of WW2 cause you know you’re gonna have to shoot yourselves, but you still got two more years as Hitler.
And so a beautiful comedic discussion ensues. And it just hit me. This is a hypothetical discussion, with no relation to reality. They aren’t hitler, neither are they homeless. It’s just a bunch of what ifs and hows and whys.
This type of discussion is quite common in a conversation with the boys. Numerous times I have had purely hypothetical discussions like these with my friends, and they go on for a long time, and we all have fun.
Some discussions I have had in the past -
- If you could be any superhero for an hour, what would you be?
- Would you rather reincarnate in the Narutoverse or the MCU?
- If you had a green lantern ring, how would you defeat superman?
You get the idea.
And numerous times, I have asked my female friends these types of questions, and the response has almost always been terrible. I used to get annoyed at them,thinking that they are boring (no doubt they thought the same) and don’t like to think.
But the fault was my own.
I was trying to push a conversation that they aren’t interested in.
What are they interested in?
You know the answer. It’s gossip. Actual events related to actual people.
The worst thing you can do while talking to a girl is make her think continuously.
They don’t want to think (Nothing wrong with that. It’s just an observation.) They want to talk. They want to share.
If she has to think, she isn’t going to be interested.
So that is how you talk to them. You take interest in what they have to share. And I know you find it boring. I used to. And I know I’m not alone in this.
But if you really listen, you will often find amazing things about how she perceives the world, and what her takes are on various situations and circumstances. If you only listen, she will tell you a lot about herself, and how she works. Being a good listener is more than half of the game.
And no, being a good listener is not just smiling and looking into someone’s eyes and nodding monotonically.
That’s just creepy.
Rather, it’s about making the other person feel heard, it’s about acknowledging their feelings. It’s about being empathetic to their feelings, their experiences, their thoughts.
Do not think of this as lesser behaviour, it is just a difference of interest, one that we ought to respect.
And for girls, this is how you talk to boys. If you want him to be actually interested in you, you must take interest in him. Find out where his interests lie, and talk to him about it. Random, even nonsense stuff like — Do you think with five years of MMA training you can take on Connor? Just stupid stuff (stupid for you, mind you) that has no connection at all to reality, and watch him rant endlessly. He will feel heard, acknowledged, and appreciated..and consequently would like you more.
Do not hate the game.
Learn it.
Excel at it.
